Alright, I didn’t write a disclaimer for any of my other posts, and I don’t plan to write one now… but let me just say that writing these was HAARRRRRRD! Usually I can just write through my “inner-critic”, but with the person whom I was describing sitting right there in front of me, every second I was reminded of just how inadequate my portrayals were… which was not coooool…
Well, here’s a random one that is at least postable. Some of them just get mean…
He might be my age, maybe a bit younger. He’s sitting with freshman, so it would make sense. He eats his bacon with his hands, tearing off the fat first. His hair is brown, and short. His eyebrows define his face; they look like two dark hairy caterpillars — the kind that give you a nasty rash when you touch them. He is nondescript. His cowlicks make his head look vaguely square-like.
I just read Megan’s study, and it really freed me up, I had been thinking in the wrong place when working on these before… I’ll still post some of my other ones (maybe), and try again tomorrow or later tonight (to write some more)…
I agree with Elena. You do a great job with description, but I’d like to see you build on the physical. Can you draw a character out of the cowlicks, the eyebrows? Elena’s right – you can learn a lot from eating habits. What do they reveal about this stranger?
Also, I have trouble with the sentence “He is nondescript.” Is there a way you can show this, without stating it outright? As the story is, I cannot see much more than “caterpillar” eyebrows. I’d like to see you push a little harder, to break past words like “brown” and “short.”
This is a great start, and I’m excited to see your other sketches. (Meanness can make a story, sometimes, so I can’t wait to read the “un-postable.”) Good work!