Some Stranger Stranger Studies

She is a shy looking girl sitting with an athletic shy-looking boy. Both are blondes and aren’t speaking. Now he raises his eyes from his Italian dictionary and talks to her. Her face animates and she returns the passing-the-time-reading events calendar to the tabletop. Is it awkward? He is listening to music. Or seems to be to anyone watching, who will see the black wires hanging from his ears. He wears a while, flat rimmed baseball hat that represents no team.

A less-shy looking girl joins the table. She is also blonde, and looks tired.

He wears blue sweatpants and a T-shirt decorated with a snowflake that tells us he is one of The Coolest Guys Around. Draped over his chair is a gray North Face fleece, like the one I left at home for its resemblance to ones like this. He may be a skater. Or at least likes their shoes.

2

He has a wide-eyed, yet simultaneously tired face that is framed by not-straight brown hair. He wears a bright purple fleece and a tie-dye shirt. He looks frenzied. Under the table are his legs, covered with snowman pajamas, though it is a Monday at 10:30am. Even his shoes scream unconventional, and are mottled with colors. Does he have something to prove? Or a sense of unique style. Meaning he uses style to prove his individuality, See?! Look, I’m different! Would you wear this?.

Or maybe he’s just color blind.

3

He stretches, and wishes that God bless the girl, not because she’s necessarily special, she just sneezed. He looks into space and mouths words to himself, presumably related to the notebook on the table and the pen in his hand. Or he’s using the notebook and pen to disguise insanity. But if he has to disguise it, then he recognizes it, and is it really insanity?

His movements are sluggish, as if his veins flow with something thicker. His words come out crisp and low, yet thin. He walks stiffly, his upper body is firmly affixed to his hips. He wonders aloud if the girl just left without saying goodbye. His friend (the frenzied one) doesn’t know, I’m oblivious and returns to his newspaper. He reaches for his green sweatshirt, hanging on his chair, and dons it; he takes his plates to the dish rack and leaves. He may or may not say goodbye.

4

He looks Jewish. I can say that because I’m Jewish. Well, half Jewish. But I look Jewish. It’s the Friedman nose, I think. And he wears headphones that fit his head a bit too well. The shape of his head, and his excited hair conspire to create an unfortunate illusion of squished-headness. The headphones are separate, attached to each ear, but appear to be squeezing his head like in those old Gushers commercials when people’s heads turned into fruits upon biting into the acid-filled fruitsnacks. Can you imagine the lawsuits? Like, if it really happened? What is the restitution for having one’s head turned into a giant cartoon fruit? I’d be pissed.

Whatever music he is listening to appears not to move him, for he is not moving. Maybe he doesn’t care if people think his music is moving him or not, and feels peaceful when he sits still. He is reading the newspaper. He rises to leave, carefully folding the pages and tucking it below his arm. Now standing, he looks slightly less Jewish for no particular reason.

Some links: Fuzzmail & Cliche Finder

WHAT IS FUZZMAIL? Fuzzmail records the act of writing… Dynamic changes, typoes, pauses and writeovers are captured and communicated.

[From About Fuzzmail]

This is meant for emails and the like, but I think it could be interesting to use for any kind of writing… really capture the process, yah?

[Political] prose consists less and less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning, and more and more of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated hen-house.

–George Orwell, Politics and the English Language

And clichefinder. Enter some text and it’ll highlight the cliche’s.

About 100 Words

 

The idea is simple:
Write 100 Words a day,
Every Day, For one Month

You can write about anything you want. Anything. Some people open tiny windows into their lives; others write surrealist poetry. Some writers post finely tuned, perfectly crafted vignettes; others show up at the end of the night and spew drunken nonsense onto the screen.

[From About 100 Words]

 

Can you do it? Can I do it? Let’s find out?
Sounds like a neat way to get into a true writing practice…

We Are Distracted by Michael Shay

I just found an essay on ADD in one of our books for class (In Short). Craziness. It’s kinda similar to the one I wrote, but from a very different perspective. This piece was a father writing about his 8 year old son, Kevin. My piece has the son writing about himself (Of course, mine’s fictional… right? :-D). Shay has crafted a wonderful depiction of the conflicts a parent experiences when raising a kid with AD/HD. He illustrates the real impacts that AD/HD has on Kevin’s life, and how he copes. and his imagery is fantastic, but he misses one subtle, but vital point about the ‘mechanics’ of AD/HD (at least as I know it. The thing has no definition so we could just be talking about two different conditions! But the rest of his story fits…) In the second paragraph, he writes about Kevin scaling a Colorado rock face:

We look up and Kevin never looks down. It would break his concentration, interrupt his communion with the rock, I think. To concentrate is everything for Kevin. He can’t do it for extended periods of time unless he is under the influence of Ritalin, a drug that helps him control his hyperactivity inspired impulsiveness. Right now, as he climbs toward the sharp blue Colorado sky, the Ritalin, a central nervous system stimulant, is working on my son’s brain…

None of this is really explicitly wrong (of course, I don’t actually know what it’s like for Kevin, but I assume this is a more general take on AD/HD. What Shay is doing is saying that a.) Kevin has trouble concentrating, generally b.) In order to concentrate for long periods, he needs Ritalin, and then c.) He’s taking Ritalin while rock climbing, which presumably allows him to resist the “hyperactivity inspired impuls[e]” to look down. I take issue with this last bit. I’m pretty sure that Kevin needs no Ritalin to climb those rocks. In fact, I’d be surprised if the parents could get him to look down even if they tried. People with AD/HD seem to have a hard time focusing, generally. But it’s really more a problem of controlling the focus. It’s easy to focus on something that one enjoys, since there is no coercion necessary. The problem arises when you put the kid in a classroom and try to get him to do schoolwork, or whatever. Suddenly he’d rather watch the bird out the window, or whatever else he can find that’s more interesting than the work he’s been tasked with (which isn’t hard, obviously. Especially since AD/HD seems to lend itself to intense curiosity (being interested in everything.

The rest of the piece is spot-on, and pretty cool. He addresses the stigma that comes with being labeled as “ADHD”, the different theories on what AD/HD actually is (and isn’t) and how to treat it. And then he ends with two segments that fit together beautifully; Shay shows himself as a loving father who truly wants his son to be happy in the world. The penultimate section contrasts the times when he hopelessly watches Kevin fall into loneliness and isolation, with those when he swallows his worry that Kevin might fall from the sky, as he flies away, up a rock face or into the tallest tree… The final paragraph is the strongest segment of the essay, and asks some profound questions about the nature of Kevin’s dreams, are they of falling or flight?

VI. TO FALL…
Kevin never has fallen. when he was two, he climbed the highest trees in the park near our Denver home. Fifty-foot-tall pines and spruces. The first time he did this, he looked down at me and yelled, “You worried, Daddy?”
“Yes!” I said, which seemed to please him.
So what if he falls? Randy, Freeman and I watch him climb and it occurs to them because Randy says, “Does this worry you?”
“Yes,” I say, “It worries me.” And it thrills me too. I’ve seen him all alone in the playground because the mothers won’t let their kids near him. I’ve seen him mark time in his room, usually because he’s been restricted in some way because he’s had trouble at home or on the school bus or in the playground.

VII. TO FLY…
Do rock climbers dream of falling or of flying? Do hyperactive kids dream of solitude on a granite mountain? Or do they dream of this: dancing and laughing, surrounded by friends, the mountains a distant mirage?

Un-Braided Essay

Why I know no song.

I do not know a single song from beginning to end. I’ve played music since I could read: piano, clarinet then sax then guitar and back to piano… yet I couldn’t play a single song from memory on any of them. Even on guitar, once I was finally playing music I loved, I would learn pieces here and there, or play the whole song from written music. Sure, I remember a few riffs, but most didn’t occupy my attention quite long enough to stick.

Ninja Turtles

I don’t remember much from my first years in the world as a ‘real person’ (to quote the grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine). But there was a kid in my kindergarten class who knew the whole theme to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Which was super awesome. He was known for it, and was expected to do his part by singing it on demand, regularly, so the rest could sing along to the parts we knew.
Heroes in a half shell
Turtle power!

Be Prepared…

Everyone who goes to Mongolia, and plans to venture outside the bubble that is the capital, Ulaanbaatar, must be prepared to sing. Mongolians love to sing, and love to ask their awkward foreign guests to sing, “Amerik duu duulakh uu? Duu! Duu!” (“Sing us an American song! C’mon…”)

We sat in the ger of a family who I assume is somehow related to my host family, since everyone is related to everyone somehow in Mongolia. Or will be soon. Their 5 year-old son lay sleeping, comatose on a cushion in the back of the ger, directly behind a row of three seated adults, none of whom I’d seen before. They handed me a bowl of airag (fermented mare’s milk. imagine a drink with the consistency, carbonation and alcohol content of beer, and the taste of… well, fermented milk. The taste is strong, but not necessarily unpleasant.) Then a small silver bowl carefully filled with Xaraa, the most popular mid-range Mongolian vodka. I thought for a few minutes, then settled on an easy choice. I began to sing Old MacDonald, as the 7 Mongolians sat and watched, delighted. My self-conscious voice came out weak, and restrained with self-consciousness. Mongolians are also very good singers. As in, you hear a song on the radio, and if you in a group of five or ten people, chances are at least one of them can pretty much sing it like the artist. Soaring vibrato and all. And then the rest can all come pretty close. Maybe one or two happen to be tone deaf, but I’m sure even they could out-sing someone from a (comparatively) songless culture. I made it through about two verses before hitting a blank, but by then I had satisfied the crowd. “Cain baina!” (“How good!”) they offered, and I replied with the colloquial Mongolian, “Za…!” which sort-of means what it sounds like (So… And then… Okay… etc…) but is used for many of the more formal Westernisms like the casual “thanks”, “nice to meat you”, and whatever else. This got them laughing again, and I relaxed against the cupboard behind me.

Enter the Blessed Ones

NOTE: This piece is from last year, posted here for posterity and for the time when I eventually resume working on it. For now, check it out if you’re curious, but by no means feel obligated. Feedback is always welcome, of course.

Date of last revision: 1 November 2006

There is a look that I have grown to recognize; one that creeps up mid-conversation and fills me with dread. It says “Ok, I hear you. Uh, yeah. Okay. I get it already”. It says “Why is he still talking?“ It shows a polite disinterest, a rising level of conversation-fatigue. My mind floods with questions: How long have they not wanted to listen? How do I rescue the situation? Why aren’t they interested? Was it the way I was explaining things? Did I say too much? Too fragmented? Too much detail? Too tangential? It only happens at parties, or at dining hall.

Attention deficit? But I have no shortage of attention, if anything there are times when it is in excess! Yet there is some truth to this, as researchers have consistently found AD/HD to be linked with inefficiency in the allocation of attentional resources.

Attention: The span thereof. The ability to regulate and allocate the necessary attentional resources. Executive brain functions. Like the CEO of your brain, but wait, he’s a drunk! Where’d those papers go? What do we do now? When do we do it? What do I do? Which do I do? where who why when what… {//… kernel error. overload}

Continue reading “Enter the Blessed Ones”

Quotes for Today

The problem is finding the correct organic shape and emotional shape for a piece. The choice of words is a secondary matter. –E. Albee

The hardest thing in the world is simplicity. And the most fearful thing, too. You have to strip yourself of all your disguises, some of which you didn’t know you had. You want to write a sentence clean as a bone. That is the goal. –J. Baldwin

Fernando and Marisela by Bruce Berger

I found one particular element of this short, from In Short: A Collection of Brief Creative Nonfiction, Judith Kitchen & Mary Paumier Jones, Eds, particularly interesting. Bruce Berger opens this story with a curious and striking line; one that also creates a seemingly understated metaphor. He beings with a strongly worded metaphor — a promise to talk of nightstands and hexes against the long dark? –, yet he seems to veer from this course before even beginning. This story makes no secret of the author’s ignorance in the matter. He begins his narrative in the second line with this admission, For reasons unclear to me, I keep a piece of litter I found… The entire story is a fantasy, we follow the author into an imaginary world, whose purpose neither we nor he knows. Yet are we left with any more understanding at the end? Why is he haunted by [her] eyes? How does that give him solace? In fact, it doesn’t seem all that clear that Berger knows any more about his reasons for holding on to this scrap than he did at first. Is that ok? What about discovering something new through the writing?

I found this progress and understanding materialize in the penultimate paragraph. The entire fantasy world that the narrator has conjured up is summarily torn down, revealing that the very desert that so amazingly preserved his snapshot, is less and less able to keep what we throw away